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It happens to everyone at some point in the relationship. It might be at six months, a year, or seven years — but it is going to happen — guaranteed. Then what?

Falling out of lust would be more accurate, or into boredom, or as Ester Perel would say, a lack of novelty. I am not talking hypothetically. I am talking about my long-term relationships.

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I have had a couple of. Currently, my common law marriage of 19 years, has had at least two moments of sexual disconnect.

The path through these moments was the same in both instances. But before I share with you how I managed these challenges let me recount what prompted me to write this article in the first place.

In st louis tranny counselling practice, and listening to young and older men alike, I kept on hearing about this lack of interest in having sex with their partners. These men loved their girlfriends or wives but the spark had disappeared and they were at a loss of what to.

I aer one young man, about thirty aisian massage old, who has been in a relationship for close to three years. He said it was always at this time, in his past relationships, where he became disinterested sexually in his partner and would opt out of the relationship.

At least in this are you bored in your sex life, our young man is aware of his pattern oyu has chosen to stay in the relationship and see if he can recapture those sensuous feelings.

In another case, there was a loss of interest after having three children in quick succession. This is an old story, whether it is multiple births or one.

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For some men, there is a radical shift in how they view their partner after childbirth — from sexual partner to mother. Hard to make love to a woman who brings up mother images.

Another case, a man approaching retirement, suddenly lost interest, not in sex, he still had a libido and could masturbate, but could are you bored in your sex life perform with his wife. These are three different scenarios, each with their own unique qualities but all sharing some common elements: So what is the solution?

There are probably many solutions, but what worked for me was.

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First, I had to acknowledge that something was up, or down in this case. Ignoring the issue just perpetuates it.

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Second, it was not due to tiredness or stress or too much to drink many of us have performed under those conditions in the past, so why is it problematic. Third, and most important, I had to re-discover what used to turned me on about my boted.

This is the easier scenario.

10 Reasons Sex Gets Boring in Your Marriage--and what you can do to to bring some excitement and spontaneity back into your sex life?. If your sex life has gone stale, here's how to win back your partner's But less urgency doesn't have to translate to all-out boredom in bed. A boring sex life is a pretty good sign that something important isn't If one of these applies to you or your partner, then it deserves a look and.

You just have to look and see the beauty of their physicality, personality, spirituality. For me, being physically oriented, I had to remind myself how much I liked her breasts, her arms, the small of her back, her nose, her hair and her astonishing beauty when zex lay on her back, eyes closed, after making love.

I had to boerd, really look with fresh eyes and have gratitude for the gift that this woman was and is to me. This is where communication comes into play. This is tough for many of us especially around the topic of sex as we feel vulnerable.

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Your partner has changed. Or the relationship dynamics have changed.

Or they have aged. It just means that it is different — it changes — sometimes even for the better. Accepting change is the challenge. We might not like it. We might not be able to change the changes. The men I work with break down shenzhen nightlife massage two broad groups in this area.

Two, older men who are confronted with physical changes for themselves and or their partners. Both groups have issues with boredom. are you bored in your sex life

Sex has become predictable, unchanging, flat — you get the idea. There is a relatively new therapeutic modality called ACT, which stands for acceptance and commitment therapy.

I love the name of this therapy as the answer to this issue lies within the title — acceptance and commitment. If we are accepting the changes within women wants real sex Mullen and our partner, committing to understanding what is happening, and working with our partner to achieve mutually satisfying lif and goals, we are more likely are you bored in your sex life achieve a blred outcome.

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Yiur last point to ponder. Being disinterested sexually with your partner may be a reflection of being disconnected in other areas of your lives. The lack of sexual are you bored in your sex life may be just a symptom, not the problem. I wish you all the best in breaking down the barriers of boredom and reconnecting with your partner. Steven Lake is an author, speaker and relationship coach. His latest backpage ft myers escortstalk2ME: How to communicate with women, tune up your relationship, tone down the fights, dodge divorce, and have sex more lief once a year, can be found on Amazon Amazon.

For a short fun read Dr. Lake has an ebook, The Sex Formula: How to Calculate Sexual Compatibility which can be seen at Amazon.

Contact author at TheRelationshipGuy. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed. First Name Last Name.

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Your Email Address. By Steven Lake It happens to everyone at some point in the relationship.

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The bad news is, however, it's more than likely that if you're a guy who It makes sense: There are plenty of ways to spice up your sex life in a. 10 Reasons Sex Gets Boring in Your Marriage--and what you can do to to bring some excitement and spontaneity back into your sex life?. If you are bored with what's happening in your sex life, odds are, so is your partner. This is where communication comes into play. This is tough.

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