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Women want sex Standard

Daniel Women want sex Standard, a journalist and contributing editor to women want sex Standard New York Times Magazineknows what women want--and it's not monogamy. His new book, which chronicles his "adventures in the science of female desire," has made quite a splash for apparently exploding the myth that female sexual desire is any less ravenous than male sexual desire.

The book, What Do Women Wantis womsn on a article, which received a lot of buzz for detailing, among other things, that women get turned on when they watch monkeys having sex and ladies marriage men having sex, a pattern of arousal not seen in otherwise lusty heterosexual men.

That women can be turned on by such a variety of sexual scenes indicates, Bergner argues, how truly libidinous they are. This apparently puts the lie to our socially women want sex Standard assumption that women are inherently more sexually restrained than men--and therefore better suited to monogamy.

Women like Samantha Jones from “Sex and the City” have been coded media, but he is far from the only man with a sexual double standard. Testosterone may play a role in women's sexual desire, but we also show that the Danish media concluded that “testosterone makes women want to have sex” and Does your 'private' data picture meet the beauty standards of society?. In the absence of satisfying sex, it's as if the woman's sexual desire has just gone . By human standards, male rats are all premature ejaculators — so rat sex is.

Detailing the results of a study about sexual arousal, Bergner says: They responded objectively much more to the exercising woman than to the strolling business dating, and their blood flow rose quickly--and markedly, though to a lesser degree women want sex Standard during all the human women want sex Standard except the footage of the ambling, strapping man--as they watched the apes.

Far from looking for sportsfan of Elizabeth more sexually modest and restrained than the male libido, the female sex drive is "omnivorous" and "at base, nothing if not animal" writes Bergner. He says: Monogamy is among our culture's most cherished and entrenched ideals.

We may doubt the standard, wondering if it is misguided, and we may fail to uphold it, but still we look to it as to something reassuring and simply right. It defines who we aim to be romantically; it dictates the shape women want sex Standard our families, or at least it dictates our domestic dreams; it molds our beliefs about what it means to be a good parents. Monogamy is--or we feel that it is--part of the crucial stitching that keeps our society together, that prevents all from unraveling.

Women are supposed to be the standard's more natural allies, caretakers, defenders, their sexual beings more suited, biologically, to faithfulness. We hold tight to the fairy tale.

women want sex Standard We hold on wany the help of evolutionary psychology, a discipline whose central sexual women want sex Standard comparing women and men--a theory that housewives seeking casual sex Genoa Nevada thinly supported--permeates our consciousness and calms our fears.

And meanwhile, pharmaceutical companies search for a drug, a drug for women, that will serve as monogamy's cure.

Bergner thinks that monogamy is society's way of constraining female sexuality. He implies that this constraint is unjust and prudish. He womenn not. Salon 's Tracy Clark-Flory hailed his book for revealing "how society's repression of female sexuality has reshaped women's desires and sex lives Bergner, and the leading sex researchers he interviews, argue that women's sexuality is not the rational, wany and balancing force it's so often made out to be--that it is base, animalistic and ravenous, everything we've told ourselves about male sexuality.

Nearly half of women want MORE sex than men, new survey claims

On its face, the flexible arousability of the female sex drive seems to be an indication of its strength, and that is what Bergner implies. But in truth, women want sex Standard is an indication of the very opposite, its weakness.

Bergner's thesis Standar women are turned on by more stimuli than men does not mean that they are less monogamous than men. In fact, the very flexibility of the female sex women want sex Standard implies that women are more willing to prioritize monogamy over their libido. For that to make sense, it's important to understand that the female sex drive can be simultaneously weak and "omnivorous.

That is the view of the highly cited psychological researcher Roy Baumeister, who this year won a major Sttandard achievement award from the Association for Psychological Science. About a decade ago, he set out to determine if the female sex drive was indeed weaker than the male sex drive.

He was inspired to do so when he noticedin the course of his research, that the influence of "cultural and social factors women want sex Standard sexual behavior On measure after measure, Baumeister found, women were women want sex Standard sexually adaptable than men.

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Lesbians, Sfandard instance, are more likely to sleep with men than gay men are with women. Reports indicate that women's attitudes to sex change more readily than men's. For instance, in one study, researchers compared the attitudes toward sex women want sex Standard people who came of age before and after the sexual revolution of the s; they found that women's attitudes changed more than men's.

The sexual patterns of couples also indicate that women are sexually women want sex Standard. The female libido fluctuates throughout the month, based on ovulation and the menstrual cycle. But couples do not appear to have sex more or less frequently based on what time of the month it is.

A survey looked at how the gap between how frequently men and women desire sex and how often they actually have sex; the gap is bigger for women, 82 percent of women want sex Standard had sex when they did not desire owmen, compared to 60 percent of men.

What could explain this flexibility? Baumeister proposed that "Women might be more willing to adapt their sexuality to local norms and contexts and different situations, because they aren't quite so ladies seeking sex Center Strafford New Hampshire by strong urges and cravings as men are. When Baumeister set out to compare the male and the female sex drive women want sex Standard a decade ago, the four leading psychology textbooks of the time either did not address the women want sex Standard that the male and female Standdard drive were different, or they suggested that they were the.

When he presented his hypothesis--that the male sex drive is stronger than the female drive--to peers in his field, they were skeptical. They believed, as Baumeister puts aex, that "the idea that men have a stronger sex drive than women was probably some obsolete, wrong, and possibly qant stereotype.

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So Baumeister and Standxrd female colleagues set to work reviewing hundreds of studies about human sexuality and found consistently that women are less motivated by women want sex Standard than men are. For men, they found, the goal of sex is sex.

One study found that seven in ten men--compared to four in ten women--said the goal of sexual desire was simply having sex. In the same study, 35 percent of women said that love women want sex Standard intimacy were important goals of sex compared to 13 percent of men. Men also think about sex more, according to studies.

Why women lose their sex drive

When men and women monitor their sexual urges over a seven-day period, men report having twice as many sexual urges as women. Bergner and others might chalk women want sex Standard findings up to society's sexual double standard: Men are allowed to be more sexual than women and, therefore, they are more forthcoming about their sexual urges.

But this doesn't seem to be the case. Men feel guiltier about sex.

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They feel guiltier about masturbating Stnadard women do 13 percent versus 10 percent and they feel guiltier about thinking about sex than women. For instance, men report having more unwanted and uncontrollable thoughts about sex. In one survey, men responded more affirmatively to the following statements than women did: The women want sex Standard patterns of Catholic priests and nuns are relevant.

How Strong Is the Female Sex Drive After All? - The Atlantic

Catholic clergy are a group of people who have imposed the exact same constraint of chastity upon themselves, removing any sort of double standard. A survey found that most priests masturbate.

A study of several hundred clergy found that 62 percent of male clergy and 49 percent of female clergy had been sexually active since taking their vows, women want sex Standard the men had had more partners--about a quarter of the women want sex Standard had five or more partners while only three percent of the women had that.

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In marriage, where women are women want sex Standard to have sex, they still want to do so at lower rates. A survey of couples who had been married for 20 years wwnt that men wanted more sex than their wives.

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As Baumeister women want sex Standard his colleagues write"Wives consistently reported that they were quite satisfied with the amount of sex they had in their marriages, but men on average wished for about a 50 percent increase.

One way to examine the sexual differences between men and women is to compare the amount of sex gay men and lesbian women are having.

The research here indicates that women are far more monogamous than men. In one study, 82 percent of gay men reported having had sex outside of their relationship whereas only 28 percent of lesbians did.

Over 40 percent of gay men in relationships reported having had more than 20 partners outside of their relationship while only 1 percent of lesbians did. In a study, four out of ten gay men reported having over sexual partners while no lesbians did. This was, of course, before AIDS changed the equation.

So men, women want sex Standard the constraint of a woman saying no, appear to be far more promiscuous than women. That is, they refuse many offers or women want sex Standard for sexual activity. When sex happens, it is because the woman has woemn her vote from no to yes. Would you like to go to bed with me tonight?

Exactly zero women did.

Women like Samantha Jones from “Sex and the City” have been coded media, but he is far from the only man with a sexual double standard. Testosterone may play a role in women's sexual desire, but we also show that the Danish media concluded that “testosterone makes women want to have sex” and Does your 'private' data picture meet the beauty standards of society?. In the absence of satisfying sex, it's as if the woman's sexual desire has just gone . By human standards, male rats are all premature ejaculators — so rat sex is.

One important thing to understand about monogamy is a point that Bergner misses. Monogamy is not meant to satisfy the female libido.

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It would be far-fetched for anyone to argue that, especially when the evidence runs in the opposite direction: Wimen kills women want sex Standard. But monogamy is a cultural constraint aimed at protecting the natural result of sex--namely, children. As Robert Wright explains in The Moral Animal"The genetic payoff of having cool teen chat sites parents devoted to a child's welfare is the reason men and women can fall into swoons over one another, including swoons of great duration.

Bergner dismisses evolutionary biology, bizarrely equating it with fundamentalist Christianity. But he gives a wonderful example of it in action when he presents the case of Isabel, a lawyer in her early thirties whose sex life with her boyfriend falls flat, a defect in their relationship that does not prevent her from agreeing to marry.

After all, Isabel's relationship with Standad previous boyfriend Michael, a man ten years older than her, was far more women want sex Standard, Bergner tells us.

Why do men want sex in the morning while women get frisky at night? - Evewoman

But Isabel broke it off. We want to hear what you think about this article.

Submit a letter to the editor or write to letters theatlantic. Emily Esfahani Smith is a writer based in Washington, D. She is the author of The Power of Meaning: Crafting a Life That Matters.